Time is Slipping Away
by MD5991
Summary: In his time left, he wanted them to feel what he felt. He wanted them to feel the pain. That is why he insulted them, that is why he threw the slushie; it was simple, he just wanted people to see. The life of Sebastian Smythe. Deathfic. Seblaine. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've always wondered why Sebastian acted the way he does, i really hope there's going to be more of a storyline on him in S4.**

**Anyway this idea came to me and I just had to write it down, it contains quite a bit of hurt and some emotional triggers. Also some Seblaine 3**

**Please review, it would mean a lot =]**

**Disclaimer: i do not own glee, the characters in this story are the property of RIB.**

* * *

He sets the coffee down in front of him, the usual; black with a shot of courvoisier.

The sweet taste of the liquour running down his throat provides a sense of composure to the young man.

He sighs, returning his mind to the work in front of him, awaiting the entrance of his foes.

The cavalry arrives, strolling in in a disorganised manner; something he sees as common and typical of persons of this middle class town.

The group advances in on him, the latina girl leading, taking the seat opposite before beginning her confronting speech. The others forming a cluster around her, like an army awaiting charge; this time, he was unarmed.

"Let me break it down for you, from one bitch to another, all this vicious underhanded crap has got to stop"

He meets her eye, keeping his face neutral as he agrees

"Exactly, that's why I called you here"

He never usually gave in, he never usually declared a truce. He fought with all of his might; he never lost. He wanted them to feel what he felt, he wanted them to hurt.

But this time, he had gone too far.

"First of all"

He looks up, his expression softening. Searching for a form of forgiveness, something he needed most at this moment.

"Blaine I am sorry about your eye"

"That means nothing to me"

The words were harsh, but he had every right to reject his apology, it was something he was used to, the pain, whether emotional or physical, was always present.

"Just give me a chance, I have no excuses other than a lame prank got completely out of control"

There was a sense of plead in his voice, but he continues on, determined to not let another thing show. He can feel the scowls bearing down on him, he resists the urge not to look up and punch each one of their vapid judgemental faces.

"Second, the Finn photos have all been destroyed"

He watches as the looks pass around the group, looks of both relief and surprise; he had given them part of what they wanted, it was the moral thing to do, but it only makes him feel regret and weakness.

"I want the Warblers to win fair and square, and we're gonna take donations for Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' foundation"

He expects the glares to subside; they don't. He is still faced with their bitter faces bearing down on him.

"Win, lose, or draw, we're gonna dedicate our performance to Dave Karofsky"

He remains calm, even though it starts to hurt again. It hurts to know that Karofsky had a choice, he chose to try to take his own life; people show sympathy and guilt towards a person who put their own selfish needs before others, a person who still has a life worth living. It made him sick; they never show any of that towards him.

"I thought you might want to join us"

He gulps slightly, waiting for their response. He still feels the stares burning into his skull.

"Wait for the punch, you know it's coming"

"No..not this time"

He stops the brunette and looks down, gently shaking his head. They think he is a joke, they don't believe his kindness; sometimes he doesn't believe it himself either. This time though, he is honest, he has let the walls come down and he is showing them truth.

"For too long I have treated everything, like a big joke"

He thinks back to the night in Scandals. The former jock had asked him for advice, he had just thrown it back in his face. It felt good though, at the time; knowing he wouldn't be the only one to suffer. He could let the guy live his life in pain, just as he was doing, maybe not the same kind of pain, but a close enough type.

He had started with the mocking, then the insults had came swiftly after. He stood and watched as the hurt stabbed away at the boy, it had brought him a sense of comfort.

He looks up at the faces, the trust is still not present. He catches a glance at the latina girl. His barriers are no longer standing, all emotion is now pouring out.

"It's all fun and games...until it's not"

The group remains silent; their faces appear blank, but they still show the dislike towards him.

He looks down again, his insides crumbling. He feels their presence disappear, from the corner of his eye he watches them leave. There was no goodbye, there was no truce in return. He had been abandoned. It wasn't the first time.

"Why do you do it?"

He looks up once again, the owner of the voice is the boy he had hurt. He is the only one who hadn't fled.

The boy's eyes are filled with curiosity and disbelief. He should tell him, he would receive sympathy if he told him; but why should he? He wasn't weak, not mentally; it was the only strength he had left in him. His mind.

He looks back down again, not meeting the boy's gaze. He is horrible person, he knows that; but he just wants to be equal.

The smaller boy takes a seat, his eyes are still searching him. He will piece it together soon, he is smart; he tries to keep it hidden away, but the emotion is getting stronger. He slowly starts to break down.

The boy looks at him, this time his eyes are filled with concern and surprise. He wasn't fully crying, but the tears were visible. His eyes were glassy, he blinks away the tears and tries to return his face back to a cold expression.

"I want you to suffer, I want everyone to suffer"

It was the truth. He wanted his pain to be shared with the world; happiness should not exist if he himself could not experience it.

The boy furrows his eyebrows, he questions him.

"Why? Why do you want us to suffer?"

It was simple, yet the boy was so oblivious. He couldn't carry on like this, he couldn't pretend it was all right; when it wasn't. No one else knew, he didn't want them to know. They would see him as weak, he would lose all that he had left.

"I want you to feel my pain"

He stated what he felt. The boy looked taken aback. It didn't bother him though; he knew he wouldn't be sympathetic until he knew.

"What pain? Is this a joke?"

The ex-warbler looked slightly annoyed. He knew he would jump to conclusions; he was used to people doing it. He shook his head and remained silent.

"Then what then?"

He didn't know what to say; it didn't answer the question, but he just shrugged.

"What makes you think you have the right to go around treating people like this?"

He did have a right, it should be the one of the few rights he has left. He lifted his head and made eye contact with the curly haired boy. He sighed and explained.

"No one understands. It's as simple as that"

The boy's expression softened, he expressed a hint of empathy in his eyes.

"Wait, is there something wrong? Are you being harassed? Abused? Is someone threatening you?"

If only. Those situations were easier to get out of; his situation however, there was no escape.

"No"

"Then what then?"

His tone had turned serious, but he remained quiet. He liked this game, he wanted to make him guess. The boy sat back in his seat, he held his hands up in defeat.

"You're not gonna tell me huh? Fine then, but whatever is going on with you, I don't think you should be taking it out on other people"

He could feel the anger building up as his expression hardened. Why shouldn't he take it out on other people? At least they would be able to live through it.

"Like I said, I want people to feel what I feel"

The boy continued to stare at him, he was beginning to piece it together.

"Wait, is this because you're not getting all the attention? Because your teammates turned on you when they found out what you were really like?"

He was taken aback, that wasn't the answer he had expected. He just looked at the boy.

"I get it, little Sebastian isn't getting all his own way so he's taking it out on others. I should have known. You're nothing but a spiteful, attention-seeking brat"

That stung. It wasn't all truthful, but part of it was. He had jumped to conclusions, just like he knew he would. Why couldn't he understand? Why couldn't anyone understand? Well I guess that's life; it's meant to be unfair.

He couldn't take it. He stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder. He left the table, the boy was still sat awaiting a response.

"You don't understand"

He started to make his way over to the door. The ex-warbler had now begun to shout.

"I do understand! I understand perfectly well. You come here from Paris, you're parents sent you to Dalton meaning you don't have 24 hour access to their bank accounts or to them, so you're not getting the attention you want. You come here and look down on the people in this town, because they're not as well off as you are and then you turn around and say it's because we don't understand!"

He stood still, rooted to the spot. Why couldn't he see? He was a little spoilt, he had to admit, but that wasn't the reason why he goes around doing what he does.

"I don't get it. What makes you so special?"

There was a question he was willing to answer. He took a breathe and turned towards the boy; he was close to breaking down again, but he held it together. It was two words, that's all he had to stay; two words and the truth would be out.

He took a step closer to the ex-warbler, meeting his eye carefully as he kept his expression flat and told him the truth.

"I'm dying"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow I didn't expect to get any reviews for this, it means a lot guys =] **

**I hope you are all enjoying it so far, I know I left the last chapter on a bit of cliff hanger but you can now enjoy chapter 2... **

**Disclaimer: still don't own the sexy Sebastian or Blainers =]**

* * *

There it was; the uncomfortable silence, although he never expected it to last this long.

It seemed that time had stopped for the pair, as neither one of them made any attempt to move, at least not until he decided it was time to part ways with the gawping boy.

"Sebastian, wait!"

He turned to face the ex-warbler, he had arose from his seat and had followed him to the door.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know"

Yes he didn't know, but he still took the time to judge him. He still took the time to say those harsh words. He still took the time like everyone else did.

The taller boy looked down, he focused his gaze on to his neatly polished shoes; drawing in the faint reflection that gleamed from their leather surface.

"Cancer... acute lymphoblastic leukemia"

He remembers the term that has forever haunted his mind since the day of the diagnosis. He remembers the doctors expression; plain with no emotion, as if it was just another fact of the day. It might have made the man feel better, but adding a "I'm sorry" after didn't make it better at all. He would still get to live his life to the very end, even after he had cut all of those patients' lives short, he would live to see generation after generation suffer. It sickened the boy.

He remembers his mother bursting into tears, his father burying his head into his hands, whilst he just stood there, shock taking over his body; before the blackness took over him and he had collapsed to the floor.

He had expected to wake up in the comfort of his bed, the large four-poster that sat in the grand bedroom of the prestigious Smythe house. To wake up from the nightmare that he had been enduring; but it didn't happen. He had awoken to the white of the hospital room; to the many white coated figures; to his mother stroking his hair; to his father gripping his arm; to one of the doctors carefully checking his pulse.

It was real, it was all real. He was dying.

"But..there must be something they can do. Come on, I mean doctors these days, they can..."

"It's too late"

He returns his mind to reality, the boy in front of him looks heartbroken. But the truth hurts, why live your life based on a lie? If there was something Sebastian Smythe wasn't, it was a liar.

"It's too advanced, there's nothing they can do"

There were the crushing words; the words you would hear on soap operas or dramas, the eight simple words that caused a character to break down, to show their ridiculous overreactions. Except it wasn't, not this time. He could empathise with those characters, he could share their emotion, their fear, their pain.

He hated it, he didn't want it to be like this; he wasn't some dumb character, he was real; this was real.

"How long have you got?"

He could see the tears brimming in the other boys eyes. The pain stabbing at his heart; all of the hurt, guilt and self-hatred building up once again, from the way he had treat him. He was right, he should be sorry, he jumped the gun, he judged him. Now that was all coming back to him now.

"Months maybe...maybe even less"

He didn't want to think any more ahead of time. He wanted time to stop now, for everything and everyone to come to a standstill. For that precious time to come to a halt, so he could escape from dying for even a few seconds.

"Oh Sebastian"

The boy reached forward, he took a step back.

"Now you know...why do you care? I'm not your boyfriend"

He wanted to be, he really wanted to be. He didn't like Kurt, he hated him in fact; the envy towards the brunette was very great. He wanted what was his; he wanted the small ex-warbler that his heart belonged to. He wanted to rip that heart out and replace it with his own.

Sebastian and Blaine sounds so much better than Kurt and Blaine. It is a fact he keeps telling himself. It had sunken in now.

"I know, but I.."

"I'm not your friend. You made that clear"

"No wait, I didn't mean..."

"that I meant nothing to you?"

It hurt, it had hurt like hell when those words had left the other boy's mouth. He had shattered into a thousand pieces, he had returned to school and had shut everyone out. He had returned to isolation.

"You do" the boy continues to search him, scratching at the back of his neck nervously.

"but I have a boyfriend, he came first. You had to understand that"

"Yeah...it's always the same"

"Sebastian I care about you"

"I care about me too"

The abnoxious attitude was back. He wants to make it last; he will continue to be the strong, snobby, smirky Sebastian until his final moments come to an end.

"I mean, I really do" the boy took a step closer, his eyes meeting his.

"Let me help you"

"I can't be helped Blaine!" he began to shout, the fake promises always pissed him off.

"I'll be there for you...if you want me to be"

It was a lie, as soon as the gay faced boyfriend returns he would be gone.

"Let me in... please?"

He softens his expression, he can't see the truth in the boy's words but he wants to believe him. He smirks at the ex-warbler.

"what are you gonna hold my hand?"

The boy smiles sheepishly.

"..if you want me to"

He nods, expressing a genuine smile. A real, genuine smile. He needs this, the touch of the boy against his skin. If there was one thing he was determined to do before he hit the grave, it was to get the shorter boy in his bed.

"I do" he held out his hand, ushering for him to take it.

"...you gonna hold my hand or not?"

The boy looks around, the rest of the group would be waiting for him outside.

"I um..." he hesitates before giving in "sure"

He entwines his fingers with the boy. Step one accomplished; Blaine would be his in no time.

The two walk towards the far exit; the smaller boy holds open the door. He smiles, at least the gentleman inside of him still exists, he thought that it would have slowly faded after spending so much time in that repulsive place you could call 'public school'.

"I best be getting back, the guys will be wondering what's taking me so long"

He nods,at least they cared. The warblers were a family, but he was not a part of their family. He was the captain; it didn't have the same ring as 'brother' which they referred to each other by. As much as he disliked them, the New Directions seemed to have a heart within each of them; a strong, yet shattered heart. They were all the same; outcasts.

At Dalton it was different story, the Warblers were still cool. But not so much anymore. Preppies had less of a heart, as long as there was money, material possessions and state attorney parents; hearts were not needed.

"Yeah, you better"

He gave the boy one last smile before he was enveloped in to a hug.

That wasn't expected. They were practically enemies less than half an hour ago. He guessed things change, sympathy takes over and emotion is set free. He doesn't regret telling him, but he begins to feel that this is just all in an act of sorriness. It would wear off eventually.

"Do they know?"

He hadn't told anyone. Not even his team-mates knew. Why should he tell them? Why would they care, they betrayed him. Even Nick had betrayed him, the boy he could almost call a friend. He was gone just like the rest of them, but by the time he would come back, it would be too late. He would be gone by then.

"You need to tell them"

"Maybe" he smirked. He bids farewell to the ex-warbler and makes his way towards his car. He hops inside, starts the engine and begins to set off back to Dalton.

The group are huddled outside, he glances back and watches them. He watches as the smaller boy rejoins the cavalry, he watches as old Betty White wraps his arm around him. He remains calm. Not long now, the boy will be his.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews guys, they mean a lot. Sorry this chapter is slightly shorter, I wanted to save all of the juicy stuff for the next chapter. Anyway...**

**Disclaimer: Nope still don't own them =]**

* * *

Footsteps echo throughout the halls of Dalton. Leather shoes tap the floor sorely with each brisk step.

He makes his way through the crowds of boys, keeping his head high as he is met with grimaces and cold stares. He continues, brushing away the shoulder checks he receives as he makes his way up the grand staircase.

Tiredness is apparent, it is one of the first signs. His body wants to lay down; it wants him to sleep.

He makes his way into the empty dorm, he lets his bag drop to the floor and makes his way over to the bed. The single bed, it's twin sitting across the room, unoccupied. It is his room, a twin bedroom belonging to himself. He will never admit it, but he misses the company; he misses Cameron, his former roommate. He misses the talks they used to have, the exchanging of tips when it came to men, the fun. That was until the boy had joined the others in their hating and he had asked to room with Trent instead.

Despite being at a school full of boys his own age; most of whom are gay like himself, he feels more alone than ever.

He really messed up, he knows that. He managed to earn the curly-haired boy's forgiveness, but the warblers would need more than just an apology to convince them that he is truly regretful.

He will give in, but not just yet. His mind is wandering, he allows it to drift elsewhere.

He thinks about death, to most it is seen as dark, evil; to him however, it is an easy way out of this cruel life.

He begins to mentally write a checklist; Blaine Anderson being at the top. He wants his last few months to be special, he wants the warblers to go to nationals; although at this moment he knows it is not a possibility, a team worthy of a national championship have to be a team, not like a Nazi organisation obeying their Hitler; which is what the situation at Dalton feels like at the time.

A harsh rapping on the door pulls him away from his thoughts, he gives permission for the person to enter.

A short brunette, under the name of Nick enters the room; a flat look pasted on his face.

"Phone call for you"

He raises an eyebrow. A formal phone call, that would be right, probably from a doctor or counsellor; he didn't need to be dealing with this shit at the minute.

"Really. Who?" he asks, his eyes not leaving the other boy.

"Your mother"

His mother? Why would she call him through Dalton? Why not on his cell phone?

He sighs and shuffles off the bed, light-headedness washes over him as he stands up. He leans against the wall for support; this didn't happen often.

The brunette shifts his gaze, a hint of concern present in his eyes. He is unaware of his situation, yet he knows he can sense that something isn't right.

Mystery games. He likes them, he likes making people guess; making them continuously think over and over again until the stress of not knowing eats away at them and they eventually crack. Nick would be a victim to this game.

He exits the room, following the warbler swiftly along the corridor. Listening carefully to the noise that is erupting behind the closed doors of the dormitories. The talking, the laughing; he was probably the subject of their conversations. He doesn't care though, he lets them talk, he lets them laugh; he'll let them be sorry when it's too late to take it all back, he'll let them feel remorse.

He reaches the small office on the far side of the building and expresses a simple "thanks" towards the brunette, he tries to keep it civil between them. To be honest, he likes Nick, he likes how vulnerable and weak the boy is, he is an easy target. He just got too caught up with the rest of the groups tactics against the captain, that he failed to see sense. Pity, he would have made a good wing man to him. It's too late now.

"Mom?" he introduces the conversation, sighing as he prepares for the heartfelt talk he knows his mother is going to give him.

"Sweetheart is that you?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?"

"Your father and I are flying to Westerville at the weekend, there are a few things we need to sort out with you"

There it was, the formal stuff. It would be all the documents and crap he would have to sign, all the legal stuff any dying person would have to put the pen to paper for. It was going to crop up at some point, he just wished it wasn't now.

"Okay, I see"

"It shouldn't take too long, we don't want to keep you from your friends honey"

He couldn't help but scoff. Friends, what a laugh. The only friends he had at this moment had to be his textbook and his pillow. Real friends, he hadn't had them in a while; he thought inanimate objects were more easy to associate with, they didn't judge, they didn't take sides, they were just there when you needed them, to be used. They suited him perfectly.

"Yeah" he chuckled, whilst rolling his eyes

"So how've you been Sebastian? Is everything going okay? Are you keeping up with all the work?"

He loved how his education was more important, he supposed he did have to keep up a good grade record in order to be the 'perfect son' for his elite parents. The fact that whether or not he maintained a 4.0 average didn't matter to him, it's not like he will be going to college. He knows he will be lucky if he lives to see graduation. He still tries though, he doesn't want to be any more of a disappointment.

"I've been fine and yes mom, school's okay, i'm up to date with everything"

"Good"

He continues to answer his mother's ongoing questions, he expresses a fake smile every time she mentions his peers and how friendly they were. Were. The past tense.

The conversation ended after a long discussion about the Warblers, his heart swelling every time his mother mentioned how proud her and his father were that he had become captain of such a highly respected club. He needed to hear this, it soothed him, he knew that their approval meant more to him than anything, he would continue to be the perfect son until the day he died; he didn't have to keep this up for much longer.

"I love you too mom"

He hung up and sighed.

Fatigue washes over him once again, he feels like an early night. He has nothing better to do after all. It is early evening, everyone would be in the dorms by now; studying, socialising, the usual. He couldn't socialise with himself, and with his current state of mind, studying didn't seem like an option.

He makes his way back to his room, he quickly undresses and peers at the mirror in the ensuite bathroom. He admires his toned body, he knows it won't last long. He's seen sick people, how thin and frail they look; no matter how much he tries to deny it, he will become like that eventually.

He pulls on a pair of pyjama pants and a shirt. He makes his way over to the bed and climbs in. He doesn't care about brushing his teeth or scrubbing up, that can wait until the morning. He's too tired.

He pulls the duvet up to his neck, he shivers slightly. It doesn't take him too long to fall asleep, to give his body the much needed rest it deserves.

Thoughts and emotions encircle his mind, weaving in and out of his dreams. Faces appear, most cold and full of hate, but one in particular; Kurt Hummel.

He was the obstacle in his path, the wall he needed to climb. He had failed the first time, the slushie had missed.

He subconsciously smiles; he conjures up a cunning plan in his sleep.

Step 2: Remove the obstacle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys, sorry it's been a while. I've just been so busy recently with getting back into the swing of being back at school, work is taking over my life! Plus the fact that our school is sort of strict when it comes to using the internet for non-school work related stuff - I don't take english so i couldnt pretend I was writing an essay =/ I'll try and write a new chapter on the weekends, its the only real time I get off during the week (I go to boarding school by the way in case any of you were wondering).**

**Anyway here it is, I hope you enjoy this chapter...it was killing me to write Seb like this =(**

* * *

He forces his heavy eyelids open and takes in the familiar surroundings of the dorm. Light is gleaming in from behind the curtains; he squints and turns away.

He pulls the comforter closer to his body, a cold chill is trying to seize him; he doesn't have the strength to fight it off. He allows it to grapple him.

Even after more than 12 hours of heavy sleep, tiredness still has its hold on him. His body feels weak, but his mind refuses to follow that. He sits up, closing his eyes for a moment as he lets his head hang from his shoulders; it feels heavy in its place.

It's after 8, breakfast is in half an hour. He doesn't feel like it, his body doesn't feel like ingesting any food today; he blames it on a fever.

He reaches for his phone and scrolls through the contacts. He stops at a familiar name, and rubs his thumb over it. Soon its title would be his.

He continues scrolling through the list and stops a second time. He opens up a message and adds the recipient. He begins to type.

It has taken him longer than usual to type a 3421 character message, he blames it on the earliness. 3421 characters outlining his plan; the plan that would pull him a step closer to his wish.

He hits send and watches as the message leaves his phone.

_Message Sent_

_To: Chandler_

He smirks, if all works out well, he would win.

It was evil, but Sebastian had to admit, he himself was evil. If it caused the pain he knew it would, then so be it; the outcome would be worth it.

He was in charge, he would take responsibility. He would take responsibility for the blonde glasses-wearing boy's actions; it would make the game more fun.

The plan was brief, but he knew his boy wouldn't let him down. His boy, could he call him that? An acquaintance, that seemed more fitting. They had only met the once; Scandal's seemed to be his place, the boy was perfect for the job.

He thinks back to their first meeting, the boy was pushy; he took a liking towards him, not as a friend but more a commander. They flirted, even though it wasn't real on his half; he let the meaningless flirty comments pour out. The boy had fallen into his trap, he had let his handsome features woo the boy; in his stupidity, the boy had developed a crush. He took advantage and lead the boy on. It was fun, he felt in control; Chandler Kiehl was eating out of the palm of his hand.

He rethinks the plan and makes sure every detail he sent was correct. No mistakes could be made here; he places all of his trust on this geeky boy.

Step 1: Approach the boyfriend and flirt

This would be easy, the boy was experienced in that field.

Step 2: Ask for his number and proceed to text flirt

That gay-faced Betty White is too polite to say no, another check for the box.

Step 3: Invite him and Blaine Warbler to Scandals

How could they resist? It was his treat. It may take a bit of persuading but he would get there, he hoped he would.

Step 4: Spike his drink

Easy, he would be none the wiser.

Step 5: Take him back to his flat and strip him of his clothes

A delicate step, he had to warn Chandler not to sleep with the boy.

Step 6: Take the tell-tale photographs

The boy would be innocent until proven guilty; but he had the evidence to prove just that.

Step 7: Send them to one Mr. Anderson

Seven simple steps, that was it. If all turned out well, it would be a breeze. One thing he had to consider though; creating a distraction for the curly haired ex-warbler.

It wouldn't be too hard, he could ask him to visit Dalton, say he wasn't feeling too good. The boy had a duty of care now that he knew, it wasn't a lie, he did feel sick; real sick.

He sighs heavily, it was going to be a long day. Five long periods followed by an hour of Warbler practice, he wanted to crawl back into his hole and sleep.

He uses all of his strength to pull himself off of the bed, he stumbles slightly but manages to regain his balance as he clutches the bedside table. An agonising pain shoots through his head, he tries to ease it by massaging his temples; this was only the beginning.

He quickly gets washed and dressed, if quickly could be used to describe his sluggish slow-moving actions; it usually didn't take this long.

He picks up his satchel and makes his way out of the room. He looks a mess, he knows that. He probably looks like a walking corpse. Maybe the nurse had something for his fever.

He manages to make his way down the stairs, gripping the banister tightly as he slowly places his foot on each step. He makes it to the bottom and turns in the direction of the infirmary.

It doesn't take long, the nurse sees his pasty features and advises him to go back to bed. He refuses, he can't be missing classes; he can't be letting his parents down. He can't be missing Warbler practice; he can't be letting the team down. Most importantly; he can't be letting himself down.

He takes the aspirin and water the woman gives him, it doesn't help much but it will have to do. He makes his way to first period, taking eat step slowly. He wants the pounding pain in his head to go away, he wants to be able to feel well again. If he could survive an hour of Calculus, he wouldn't have a problem with the other classes.

He makes his way inside the room, he apologises to the teacher for his late arrival and takes his seat. He ignores the looks he receives from his classmates. He was okay, it was nothing, he kept telling himself. Only it wasn't.

* * *

The day had dragged, but he had somehow gotten through it. He reminds himself of the stack of homework due for tomorrow but brushes the thought away, it could wait. He makes his way through the corridors towards the common room, it was only an hour; then he could rest.

He makes his way in, the conversation subsides and heads turn at his entrance. He doesn't waste a moment, he gets down to business.

The group form three orderly lines; their traditional starting position with him in the middle; surrounded by his teammates, like an army.

He doesn't feel like singing lead today, his voice is hoarse and he doesn't have the energy to lead the choreography. He changes the song choice at the last minute, Nick could sing Uptown Girl again for what would probably be the 100th time. He didn't have to be the front man this time.

They get the pitch and start the number. The group break into four-part harmony during the opening bars; he realises he is slightly flat, but he continues, he had an excuse. Nick takes lead vocals and directs the group in song, Jeff and David following his up-beat movements in the centre. The rest of the warblers follow swiftly after; he really pushes himself, he can't let his ill-stricken body take over.

They get to the main part of the song, he manages to get through his two-line solo although his voice is weak. He feels himself becoming worse after every second.

His body eventually gives up the fight when they reach the half way point. A wave of nausea hits him and he reacts fast. He sprints out of the room, pushing past a few of the leading warblers. He runs down the corridor panic stricken and rushes into the bathroom.

He winces as the acidic substance makes its way up his throat; it tastes disgusting. He would have to get used to this.

After a further two episodes of nausea, he had brought back up every remaining thing in his stomach. He gripped the toilet seat, shaking. Tears are brimming in his eyelids, he blinks them away; he will not cry. He was in control, he will not cry.

He needed an excuse, the warblers would be curious. He wasn't going to tell them, not yet. They had Regionals to win first.

He makes his way out of the cubicle, lunging for the sink nearby. Light headedness had once again become present.

He takes in his reflection, a sick looking boy stares back at him. He looks dead; his skin so pale that even snow would have more colour. He breathes heavily, he needs to get himself sorted. He needs to go back to the common room and resume the practice; pretend like everything is fine.

He takes one last long look and straightens himself up. He waits for the wave of dizziness to ease off before he makes his way towards the door.

Bad move, it returns almost instantly. There is no way to stop it, there is nothing to grab on to; light-headedness had taken over and he had let it. Black spots appear in his vision before the walls of darkness enclose on him as he loses his balance.

He doesn't feel it, he doesn't feel his eyes roll back in his head. He doesn't feel his weak body hit the ground. He feels nothing but disappointment. He had let himself give up.

* * *

"...Jeff stop it you're going to hurt him"

He can hear muffled voices, reality was slowly coming back to him. He can feel large hands shaking him; he wants them to stop.

"Bastian come on! Wake up!"

He recognises the blond warbler's voice, he feels a hint of fear at the panic present within it.

"You're going to be okay Seb, we're here. Just please wake up"

He knows that voice, it's calm with a soft tone to it and...is that a hint of plead?

They had come to check on him; they really cared?

He musters up the strength and slowly opens his eyes. He blinks as the blurry figures come into focus as he sees the faces of the concerned looking Nick and Jeff Warbler.

He is still in the bathroom; lying on the cold tiled floor. His head in Nick's lap, with the other boy trying to slap him back into consciousness. He winces at the light, but manages to open his eyes fully.

"Seb can you hear us?"

He tries to speak out but the best he could manage was a groan. His voice had gone; he wants the world to swallow him whole.

"Well if it isn't Nicholas and Jeffrey" he manages to croak out, trying to put on a playful tone. The two however just eye each other seriously.

"Don't play around Bastian, we were really scared"

"We came to see if you were alright. You just ran out"

"Will you forgive me for ruining your solo Nicky?" he smirks, he knew the last thing on the brunette's mind was the boy's half sung solo.

"Forget about my solo, you're clearly sick Seb!"

"I'm fine" he mumbles, he wasn't letting anything slip.

"No your not, you're white as a sheet and you're sweating"

He didn't notice the cold sweat that had formed on the surface of his skin, nor the heat that was radiating from it. It was a sign that his body was slowly losing its battle, his immune system was slowly shutting down; he would be susceptible to every single virus that made its way through the air.

"What's going on?"

Should he tell them? Or should he keep up with the game? The hint of plead in the boy's voices earlier had provided him with a sense of comfort; they cared. He could make them crack, he could let them suffer with watching him die; not knowing why. They had betrayed him, they had added to the pain he already felt. It was his turn to give something back.

"Nothing my dears"

He smirks. The game was going to continue.

* * *

**What do you guys think? Hit me a review? =)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys, I apologise it's been a while. School has been taking over once again, but I finally managed to escape and get on my laptop to do a bit of writing.**

**First things first, I can't tell you how excited I am for the Warblers episode, especially since Sebs back! :D I'm literally counting down the days!**

**Anyway back to this, it's a bit of a juicy chapter. You guys will probably kill me for what I do to poor Sebbie in this, i'm so mean teehee**

**So.. enjoy and please review :)**

* * *

The monotonous sound of raindrops was having a soporific affect on him. He lay still on the large couch, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself as the middle-aged woman ran her cold fingers across his ill-ridden body.

He had been forced into making the trip to the infirmary by the two younger warblers, blackmail could be a powerful thing; he didn't need the rest of the group to hear about the day's drama.

"Can you sit up for me dear?"

He groaned, this was going to take effort. He bustled up the strength to lift his heavy limbs and managed to push himself into a sitting position. He squinted and fought against the sharp pain that had now become present in his temple; he just wanted to sleep, he wanted the world to swallow him whole, he wanted to be set free from this degenerate life.

He needed to keep them quiet, there was no promising that they wouldn't tell. They didn't know half of it, they had no right telling the others of his situation. He would get them if they so much as breathed a word to the other warblers.

"I need you to take these for me"

He brought his mind back to the room in which he was in and turned towards the woman. He hated taking pills, he couldn't stand the unwieldy feeling of them slithering down his throat. The fact that she was presenting them to him was an insult; he didn't need his weaknesses made apparent.

He took them; wincing as that familiar sensation travelled down his oesophagus. It was over in mere seconds, but he inhaled deeply once again in order to restore calmness.

"Am I okay to go?"

He spoke up, showing a sense of hope in his eyes that the nurse would allow him to return to his room to hibernate. He hated the infirmary, it was like Dalton's own hospital wing; the same stench of peroxide and disinfectant present in the air. The white walls made him feel enclosed, they reminded him of why he was here; the real cruel reason of why he was sat here now.

"You should be. Are you taking any other medication?"

"No, just the stuff the doctor passed on to you"

He wasn't very observant when it came to keeping track of medications, he left that to his parents and all the doctors. It was their job to medicate him, it was his job to keep from death for as long as possible.

"Very well, you're free to go"

He slowly but surely stood up from the couch, keeping each movement easy and leaden; he didn't want to risk fainting again and ending up back on that lumpy piece of furniture.

By now it was late evening, Warbler practise would have finished hours ago for sure. He would have to check with some of the guys as to what had been practised, they couldn't be slacking off now that Regionals were coming up. Especially since it could be some of the boys' last chances to make it to nationals, some in particular more than others.

He made his way back up to the dorms and let himself fall heavily on to his bed as soon as he stepped into the room. Each day seemed to be getting longer and more of a challenge for his debilitated body. He often wondered how long his body clock was going to last.

He rolled over and faced the clock, it was nearly 8pm, two hours before curfew took hold. He could probably get away for a bit, visit a familiar face, a face he actually wanted to see.

It would take some strength to drag himself to his car and drive the roughly one hour journey to the ex-warblers house, but it would be worth seeing whether or not his plan had worked. It would be one step closer to his goal if it had.

He decided momentarily that he would; he quickly slipped his shoes back on and grabbed a large coat out of his wardrobe, even though Westerville was at a warm 70 degrees, his sick body made everything feel crisp and chilly. He didn't care if people whispered and stared, to him the warm humid air was like the Arctic.

He pulled it over his blazer and buttoned it fully, he then proceeded to make his way out of the building hopefully without being seen by any prying eyes.

It was looking good so far, he had reached the bottom of the staircase and was making his way through the vacated corridors when he was stopped in his tracks by a familiar voice.

"Hey 'Bastian, where you going?"

Out of all people it had to be the tall blond tenor, he would have to conjure up a decent excuse to get out of this one.

"Er..just for a walk. And before you ask, I'm fine Jeff"

"Are you sure? You still look kind of sick, maybe you should stay in"

He sighed, he wanted to silence the boy. Nobody told him what to do, he followed advice from no one, especially not feeble little schoolboys. If he wasn't stood wearing the uniform or within the well respected grounds of the prestigious high school, he would have dropped the gentleman act and went all Lima Heights on the blond. He didn't need sympathy or care, never mind people commenting on his appearance. He had had enough.

"Like I said, I'm fine, don't you have studying to do?"

The boy lowered his gaze, he had got him now.

"I know most of it, but wait don't you have studying to do?"

Nice comeback, boy was this boy good. He was wasting his time, he needed to get out before the rest of the school came down for dinner.

"All done, now really you should go...and do...whatever you usually do"

He said, trying to distract the boys attention so he could make a quick getaway.

"I'll come with you"

He stopped, this boy was really driving his patience.

"I'd prefer to go alone"

He stated, starting to take brief steps closer towards the entrance.

"But someone should go with you, you know...in case you pass out or something. You're not okay Sebastian, I can tell"

"I'M NOT AN INVALID JEFF!"

He lost it, nobody talked to him like that. It was a combination of a pounding head and an annoying stimulus that triggered it.

Silence filled the reverberate halls as he stood watching the intimidated boy.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that...I-I'll leave you to it.."

He watched as the boy turned and walked crestfallen up the stairs towards his room. He felt a sense of guilt in the pit of his stomach, it wasn't something he would dwell on; the boy had deserved it.

He slipped out of the entrance and made his way through the grounds to where his car was parked. Usually when he was out roaming Ohio, he would take pride in owning his own Aston Martin, however when it was sat amongst the luxurious cars the other rich boys owned, it felt more a part of the pact than of any great value.

He was hoping the roads would be quiet, in all honestly he didn't know If he had the energy to actually drive there for it required a fair amount of concentration, even for an experienced driver like himself. He would have to step on it before it got dark.

He did what he could and made his way out of the school grounds, en route to the ex-warbler's residence.

* * *

It had taken roughly an hour, but he didn't care; he had made it, despite his struggle.

He stepped out from the car, making sure he locked it before making his way up the path to the large house.

One ring of the doorbell was all it took for scurrying footsteps to be heard from inside. He waited patiently as a figure appeared, the sound of keys jingling as they frantically tried to undo the lock.

Upon his presence, a feeling of warmth ran through his body. The cold and hatred he felt had been lifted upon seeing such a familiar face, it brought a sense of calmness.

He now realised how much he wanted this boy.

"Sebastian...um hi, what are you doing here?"

He smiled, his voice was so sweet warm. It felt like their first introduction again.

"What a guy can't drive 50 miles to see his favourite Warbler?"

He watched as the curly-haired boy chuckled, lowering his gaze as he shook his head.

"Well come in, I'm just upstairs"

He did as he was told, kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his coat, he followed the smaller boy up towards the small bedroom. Taking in each detail of his easeful welcoming home.

He smiled upon entering, it held such a saccharine smell, one that clung to the boy throughout the day; only it was stronger.

"Take a seat, I was just studying"

The boy motioned towards the bed. He obeyed, making himself comfortable against the headboard.

"Stop studying so hard"

He said in almost a whisper, hopefully the boy would catch on to the hint of seductiveness.

The smaller boy stopped and turned, rising from his seat he followed the Warbler's command and took a seat on the edge of his bed. He wished he would get closer, he was dying not diseased; he needed the comfort.

"So what really brings you here then?"

He may as well answer the question, he had a feeling the boy would be on his case for the next hour or so if he didn't.

"I just needed to see you.."

The boy cocked his head, a hint of concern becoming apparent in his eyes

"..I haven't been..too good lately"

He lowered his gaze, sighing as he felt the piercing eyes of the curly-haired boy scan his body.

"Do the other guys know? Please tell me you told them?"

"No!"

He didn't mean to snap, he ought to apologise; but they couldn't know, not yet.

"Sorry I just...I can't tell them...not yet"

"Sebastian"

"No, there's too much going on at the moment...they wouldn't be able to handle it"

Truth be told, he didn't care how or whether or not they handled it at all. He didn't want them to see his weakness, he didn't want them to oversee his power, he didn't want someone else to take charge; that was why they couldn't know.

"They're strong, and you need your friends around you...especially at a time like this"

How he hated those words. He was being treat like an invalid again, but he couldn't show the hurt, not towards this boy; it would crush him.

"You're right...I'll tell them soon. So how you been keeping then my friend? How's Betty White?"

He watched as a hard expression formed on the smaller boys face, he closed his eyes, sighing as he made sense of the situation.

"All in all fine I guess... I'd prefer if we didn't talk about it"

This caught his attention, the boy was hiding something.

"Come on Blainers, you can tell me..."

He kept a serious face, he needed the boy to open up; he needed to know if the plan had worked.

"Kurt and I are on the rocks..."

He smirked. It had.

"I'm sorry to hear that, what's up?"

"Oh...erm...ah it's nothing"

"Come on, once a warbler always a warbler remember? You can trust me"

He watched as the boy took a breath, then all of his hurt spilled out. He broke down.

"He cheated on me..."

He did what he thought was right, he held the boy as he cried. It felt so right, holding the vulnerable boy in his arms. For once, the pain felt was not his, he was trying to soothe it. Even though he was the cause of his love's pain, he felt a sense of happiness. A door had been opened for him; it was progress in a sense.

"..it's okay...shhh"

He rubbed the boy's back, whispering soothing words into his ear. It was probably a shock to the boy, if not embarrassing. Sebastian was actually caring, he actually acted as a good comforter. No one could find out about this.

He needed more information, he needed to coax it out of the boy.

"what happened?"

He listened carefully as the boy hesitantly explained the story; the story that matched almost exactly up to his well constructed plan. He had gotten the results he wanted.

"He doesn't deserve you Blaine. No one deserves that...especially not you"

"He said it wasn't his fault...that he doesn't remember anything"

He rolled his eyes, so the spiking of the drink had worked. Excellent.

"It doesn't matter if he remembered or not, that fact that he still did it is what matters"

He was desperately trying to put his point across, he needed the boy to let go; he needed him to accept him instead.

"That's what hurts the most...the fact he can't be straight with me. I would have taken it better without all of the lies...not that it matters now anyway"

He raised an eyebrow. Did that mean that Klaine were officially over?

"You can't trust a liar, like you don't deserve to be with one. You deserve better Blaine...I know"

He placed a finger under the boy's chin, lifting his head so that he met his gaze. He moved his hand so that it cupped his cheek, those eyes were so educing, those lips were so close.

He made the move, he leaned in closer; those lips were the perfect shape for his puzzle. He closed his eyes as he pressed their lips together, taking in the sweet nectarous taste of Blaine Anderson. He endeavoured those few seconds, he enjoyed the moment while it lasted; before the boy pulled away.

"Sebastian! What are you doing?"

The boy pulled away, lifting his hands in defence.

"This.."

He made his move once more, crashing hard against those lips causing the smaller boy to fall backwards. He leaned over him, trying to get closer with each movement before being violently pushed off once again.

"No! This can't happen!"

"Blaine..."

"No I-I can't, I can't do this... Kurt.."

"He cheated on you!"

"What and that makes it okay?!"

"An eye for an eye Blaine. He deserves it!"

"That may be the case for you, but that's not how I do things"

"Come on, you.."

"No! Just..you need to leave"

"Blaine..."

"Just...go"

He stood up from the bed, keeping his head down as he did so. He made his way over towards the window and stopped, taking in the light gleaming from the crescent moon. To most couples, moonlight was seen as romantic. Only they weren't a couple, one small step forward had resulted in five large steps backward. He had really messed up this time; he was embarrassed at his failure.

"I said you need to leave"

He remained frozen to the spot, he wasn't following orders. Not any more.

"Sebastian!"

"I thought you were different Blaine..."

He turned his head towards the smaller boy, a plain expression having a hold on his features.

"..I thought you cared"

The boy's anger subsided, his features softened as he took a step closer.

"I do...I really do. But I can't do this...we can't do this..."

"I get it, I'm not Kurt. I'm not normal, I don't have a normal functioning body anymore...I can't wake up every morning and know that everything is going to be all right. I simply can't be good enough for you"

"It's not that!"

"Then what is it then? Or am I just not your type?"

He hardened his gaze once again, if this boy was playing hard to get he was certainly doing a good job of it.

"Sebastian! I just can't!"

He turned to face the boy fully, he needed him. He would plead if he had to.

Desperation was present in his heart, he would hold on as long as possible. He dropped the cold act and tried.

"Please Blaine...it'll be okay, we can be happy.."

"No Sebastian..I can't.."

He grabbed the boys hands, edging closer as he tried desperately not to let him go. He couldn't lose him.

"You know it's right, no one needs to know..it can just be us two. You belong with me..you know you do.."

"No..Sebastian please..just listen.."

He was becoming stressed now, desperation and fatigue was taking over, he felt weak; the boy was his only source of strength now.

"Shhh listen to me! It can be perfect...just the two of us"

He tightened his grip of the boy, he was beginning to shake. He feared what would come if he let go.

"You can come back to Dalton...we can be together. Just you, me, the rest of the guys, we can win Nationals and then be together for graduation. Blaine you know it makes sense..."

"We can't...Sebastian no we can't.."

"Blaine..Blaine...we can.."

Fatigue was taking control, his limbs were getting heavy; he didn't know how much longer he could last.

"Blaine..."

"Sebastian are you okay?"

He knew something was wrong, he was shaking uncontrollably. He was becoming weaker. He had to fight it.

"Blaine...come on..you know me and you. It'll...work.."

"Sebastian, you need to stop. You don't look..."

"Blaine..i'm fine. Come on...just...listen..to..me"

He breathed heavier, light headedness was once again becoming apparent, he couldn't let it, not this time.

"No you don't look good. Come on sit down..."

"No...Blaine...you..need..to..listen...to me"

"I can't be with you Sebastian! Now come on...sit down"

"..Blaine, Blaine..you..can"

"Sebastian, you're going to hurt yourself..come on!"

"..Blaine..B-Blaine...Bla..."

It was too late, he had tried. He had tried to keep going, he had tried to win the battle. He had come so close, yet he had failed; once again, he had failed.

The smaller boy was quick to act, catching his limp body before it hit the floor. He gently lifted him into his arms, gasping at how light he was. He carried him over to the bed, lowering him down gently and carefully manoeuvring him so that his head rested on his lap.

He stroked the loose strands of hair away from his eyes, and placed a hand on the lead Warbler's forehead. He winced at the heat radiating from it; he really was ill.

The curly-haired boy couldn't help but feel guilt eat away inside of him, he should have listened. He had caused this, the taller boy needed him and he pushed him away. Truth be told, he liked him, he really did; but he couldn't be with him. He was hot, he was experienced, he would be a perfect boyfriend; but he couldn't be. For many reasons, they couldn't be together.

He still had feelings for Kurt, that would never change, even if Sebastian came into the picture; he would still love his first. He couldn't put the boy through any more pain, he was dying, he needed his friends and family around him, not the stress of a relationship.

But maybe a relationship was all he had left to ask for. He was dying, he didn't have long left, the smaller boy knew that. He could fix that, he could give in and be his lover. But would it be enough?

How would his friends react? His family? The glee club? If he wanted to be Sebastian's full time boyfriend and most likely carer, he would have to transfer back to Dalton. It was cause so much pain, so much regret, so much loss.

For the sake of one life.

He looked down at the boy's pale face, but it might be his only chance to make something right. But was it right?

"Sebastian..."

He sighed, the boy was so weak. His body had forced him to rest, the stress of school was obviously taking its toll. He should be at home.

He wondered what his parents thought? Did they care at all? He was dying and they were shipping him off to school? Were they really that cold hearted?

He closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into the boy's hair, breathing in the scent of hair product and the natural aroma of the Warbler.

He couldn't let him suffer alone, he didn't have the heart to do that to anyone. He would have to think long and hard about this; but he couldn't leave him to continue on his own.

It could be said that maybe; he did love him.

He just didn't know that.

* * *

**You guys want to kill me now? Leave a review, reviews are sexy! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sincere apologies for it being so long, i've been up to here in work :/**

**I'll try and keep this brief, a few of you have been interested in Seb's relationship with his parents and his past, so i've tried to include part of that in this chapter.**

**On the other note, Dynamic Duets! I cried. TOO MANY FEELS! The Warblers, Hunter - gosh I love him, him and Seb are like the top bitches of the school, I'm determined to start shipping Huntbastian. Also I must be one of the few people who thinks Seb's new hair is really Hot! Quite upset Blaine didn't return to Dalton though, his heartfelt talk with Finn crushed me. And Seb's 'turned over a new leaf'...just beautiful.**

**Anyway on to the story..**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them :(**

* * *

"_And there is nothing at all you can do?"_

_He remains still as he listens to his father's words, the same monotonous tone present; the shock and sadness hidden beneath it. He watches as the white-cloaked man sighs, shaking his head dejectedly._

"_I'm afraid not sir, even the most advanced treatment would have little effect. It is too far along...I'm sorry"_

_Those words imbed a great weight on his heart; he feels it crush under the strain._

"_Are you saying...h-he's going to d-die?"_

_He hears his mother's voice crack; his heart breaks from hearing the pain she expresses._

"_I'm sorry"_

_He wants to cry, he wants to scream in fact; yet his body remains still. His trembling hands remain tucked inside of his trouser pockets; he keeps a flat expression. He wouldn't break down, not now._

"_I'll give you and your family some space, allow the news to sink in"_

_He watches the man briskly leave the room, clipboard in hand as he makes his way down the ward; to ruin another person's life._

_His father paces the room, making no attempt at eye contact. His harsh footsteps echo off the walls; he wants his restive actions to subside._

"_James?"_

_His mother makes an attempt to bridge the gap with his father. It works, he remains still as she speaks._

"_We're taking Sebastian home with us, he can return to school after the weekend"_

"_We've already discussed this, he can't be missing school. This year is important, it's his senior year Eleanor"_

"_We need to sort this out, there has..."_

"_There's nothing to sort out!"_

_He winces at his father's words, he had caused this strain on his family. It pains him to see his parents arguing; he wants everything to stop._

"_Tomorrow we will go..."_

"_Tomorrow I have an important meeting with the head of a firm and then with a client, I told you this last week!"_

"_Don't you think this is more important James! He's our son!"_

_He wishes he can see the truth in his mother's words, work always came first, that's how it goes in a family like his. His father would never miss a meeting; that wouldn't change now._

"_I have too much going on at the moment, I don't need this"_

_That was his father, he tried to bury everything under the mat, to act like he didn't care; he was a coward. He often wondered whether he would ever find a place in his life, coming from a background where money overruled everything meant he had just learned to find comfort elsewhere; it was one of the results of being emotionally neglected._

"_He doesn't need this either! He's 17, his life's just begun, we had his future set up for him"_

_He liked how his parents tried to schlep him along the path, there was no decisions to be made by himself, no thought about what would have been his future. It had all been planned out. That was why he was their son, he was just there to inherit the family home, to inherit all of the money, to keep the prestigious Smythe name efficacious. _

_It was hard being the perfect child, he had to deal with the envy from society. Not that he cared what those lower-class commoners thought; his parents had always taught him that status was important – along with presentation, respect, authority, integrity and honour. He wasn't a snob, he was just brought up to be better than everyone else._

"_Not like that's going to happen now"_

_He spoke up, making his presence aware amongst the two. His father turned to face him whilst his mother took a seat next to him and pulled him closer. He enjoyed the attention, he enjoyed the comfort; even if it only lasted for brief moments. _

"_It's going to be all right son"_

_He felt enraged at his father's words, again he was hiding everything away. Coward._

"_No it's not!"_

_He didn't meant to sound so abrupt, he would never so much as mumble back to his parents. However these weren't normal circumstances, he was sick of the fake promises, the lies. He had had enough._

"_Sebastian..."_

"_No!" _

_He pulled away from his mother's grasp, standing up to meet his father's eyes_

"_You heard what the doctor said. I can't be fixed! Stop trying to make everything okay when its not"_

"_Son listen.."_

"_No you listen!"_

_He lowers his gaze to the floor, trying to make the tears less visible as they glimmer in his eyes. His father remains still; he finally listens._

"_..I'm dying dad.."_

_He chokes out. He sees a similar expression to his own form on his father's face. He was finally facing reality._

"_...nothing you can do will fix this... not this time"_

_He endures the silence that follows. He wants nothing more than to dive into his father's arms and be protected. To be told that this was all just a big joke, to be promised that he would fix this. He wants to feel the love he should have felt everyday of his life, not just at this waking moment; he wants to be the perfect son again._

_The silence is interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. His father sniffs as he searches for it in his briefcase. _

"_I have to take this"_

_He watches his father leave. He looked downcast; for once in his life it looked like he actually cared. _

_He leans against the wall, resting his tired eyes. The lights in the room are too bright for his glazed vision; they make him feel dizzy._

_His mother remains silent, a tissue covering the bottom half of her face. She fishes around her handbag, successfully pulling out a bag of make up first time. He watches her apply the concealer to her puffy eyes, it was so easy to mask the fact that she had been crying. He wished it could be used to cover his problem._

_The familiar doctor returns moments later, along with his father, who it was clear had been running a hand through his hair in stress. _

_He joins them in the middle of the room, forming a crowd around the middle-aged man with the clipboard in hand. Clearly something had been forgotten._

"_I've just spoken to a specialist"_

"_And?"_

_He sometimes cringed at how rude and abrupt his father could be, but he proceeded to listen as the doctor presented a disheartened look. _

"_It's not good news I'm afraid"_

_There was worse to come? What could be worse than being told you were going to die ?_

_He remained rooted to the spot as the doctor explained the worst. He didn't want to hear this, he wanted to escape. He felt the world closing around him as he heard the words "Operation" "Little time left" "Funeral" being uttered. It felt like he was being trapped in a bubble, he felt a panic coming on._

_No one noticed, his parents were so consumed in the doctor's words they remained silent, unmoving. He felt his heart pounding in his ears, the desperate attempts to catch a breath as his chest tightened. Fear was taking its hold; he felt sick._

"_So what do you want to do Sebastian?"_

_All heads turned to face him at his lack of response, he saw the concern in his parent's eyes, their distorted faces, their muffled voices. What was happening to him?_

"_Sebastian?"_

_His father grabbed him, trying to drag him out of his state of shock; he felt weak. _

"_Sebastian!"_

"_I-I'm sorry dad...I'm...sorry.."_

_His own voice sounded drowned. Darkness was surrounding him, he was finding it hard to see. _

_He saw the doctor immediately jump forward, he felt a grasp on his arm; before the blackness eventually enclosed on him and his body gave up. _

_This was the first time he had lost._

* * *

"I'm sorry"

He croaked out, trying to force his heavy eyelids open. He winced as he was met with the bright light.

"Sebastian?"

He heard that familiar voice, yet he couldn't find its owner.

He searched the room; it was dark green housing shelves lined with trophies and various photographs. He recognised a few faces in the group shot, there were numerous framed memories of the boys in navy and red striped ties.

It took him a few moments, but he finally figured it out. He was at the ex-warbler's house, lying on his large bed, his thin legs standing out against the peach coloured tartan bed sheets.

He looked around, the books were still out on the desk, the chair was empty. Where was the occupant?

He felt a warm hand touch his forehead, he looked up to see that familiar face looking down at him; concern deep within his eyes.

"What..what happened?"

His voice was hoarse, he coughed to clear it. He felt a warmth against his back, he was lying on something, or someone. Blaine.

"You fainted, do you remember?"

He couldn't remember, he couldn't even remember why he was here. Then it hit him, he had failed to get the boy.

The begging, pleading, grabbing on; had failed. The boy had refused, he had been turned down. It hurt.

There had been a hole in his heart for so long, a hole he had hoped that one boy could have fixed. He didn't usually do long term relationships, the majority were usually just a fling; this one however, felt different.

He was not good enough for Blaine Anderson, he had proved himself unworthy. The bitching, the bullying, the backstabbing; it had provided him with little comfort. What he really wanted Daddy could not buy; for someone to love him.

The boy would be just a friend, probably not even that. But why was he lying in his arms? Why was the boy acting like his protector? He had messed up, he had made it clear the Warbler captain wasn't someone he wanted to be with. It didn't make sense.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah Seb?"

The boy continued to stroke his tanned hands through his thick locks, it soothed him, it really did, but he couldn't understand why he was being so caring.

"What are you doing this?"

"I just.."

"You made it clear you didn't want us to be together"

It pained him to say it, but it was the truth. He had failed at his mission.

"I care about you, I mean I really care about you Sebastian...but everything's so complicated at the minute"

"Kurt?"

The curly haired boy dropped his gaze, he had been defeated.

"Yeah"

He softened his voice, once again trying to pull him from the emotional clutches of his previous lover.

"He cheated on you. He was untrustworthy. He lied"

"I know but..."

"But what?"

The boy sighed, he took once last glance around the room before he focused his attention back to the tall boy on his lap.

"You're right...I need to move on"

He smirked, that was more like it.

"It's hard though.. Kurt, he.."

"..doesn't matter"

He finished the sentence, trying to change the topic to prevent from hearing the boy ramble on about his first love. It could result in a step backwards; he couldn't have that happen again.

He felt a cold chill hit his skin, at which point he realised he was no longer wearing his blazer. He caught sight of it on the coat stand, wondering why it was there and not on his shivering body.

"I need to get back to Dalton soon"

He said flatly. He knew curfew probably took hold over an hour ago, he would have to sneak in again; it wasn't the first time.

"I can't let you drive like this Seb, you barely have any strength left"

Rude, was he implying he wasn't strong? It was true, at this point his body was close to turning in for the night, it took nearly all of the strength he had let just to try and sit up.

"I need to get back though, don't want to get detention"

The ex-warbler smiled, he sounded like a fifth-grader.

"But seriously, I should"

He rubbed his temples, trying to ease the dull pain that had once again become apparent in his head. Perhaps sitting up wasn't a good idea.

"Stay here for tonight, I'll drive you back to Dalton in the morning"

That was a generous offer, it was one of the few acts of kindness he had received throughout his life. This is why he loved this boy.

"Thanks Blaine"

He put his head in his hands, he wanted the pounding to stop; the cold to go away.

"um, can I have my blazer back, it's quite chilly in here"

The boy furrowed his eyebrows, chuckling

"I can't let you sleep in your uniform, trust me it's not very comfortable"

He couldn't help but wonder how he knew that. His mind wandered to different situations where Blaine would have had had to crash in his uniform, some a little more disturbing than others.

He was handed a pair of sweatpants and an old Dalton hoodie. He guessed the ex-warbler knew he wouldn't have been too pleased at wearing one of his McKinley ones; it was a sweet thought.

He began to unbutton his shirt from the bottom, carefully revealing his slowly wasting body, it was still toned, but not as much.

The curly haired boy couldn't help but look, the taller boy was hot. But he just felt a little uncomfortable about him stripping off in front of him.

"Um, Sebastian...do you want to change in the bathroom?"

"Why you embarrassed Blainers?"

"..No, I just thought, you know.."

He raised an eyebrow, carefully looking at the smaller boy as he tried to undo his tie.

"Doesn't matter, here let me help.."

The curly haired boy joined him once again on the bed, his careful fingers successfully undoing the tight knot. He was so close, he could feel his breath on him once again.

He looked up at those lips and smirked; he could get him now.

He made his move once again, this time slowly. He leaned and parting his lips slightly, he yielded to the soft strength of the kiss. It felt so good, the boy didn't retreat this time. He felt hands wrap around his neck as he pushed harder into the kiss, granting access to the other's tongue as they entwined in harmony. He fell back again the pillows, the small boy leaning over him, it was perfect; just like he had imagined.

Each tender kiss felt soft, loving. This is what love felt like, the breathing of souls into each other with every touch. The kiss; hard, but soft; fiery but cool; no more than seconds, but what felt like eternity.

In each kiss, the ex-warbler finally found out what was behind that smirky smile. Sebastian.

He breathed heavily, it was amazing; yet tiring. He had never felt anything like that before, he felt a connection; he had found love.

He gasps, his throat becoming dry as he tries to breathe heavy breathes. He watches how the boy's smile fades as he begins to cough. He feels his chest tightening like before, it becomes increasingly difficult to catch a breath.

The boy hands him a tissue which he gladly takes. He hates coughing, he hates the spread of germs. He wants this ridiculous coughing fit to subside; he wheezes as his throat feels crushed. He forcefully tries to cough up whatever it was obstructing his windpipe. It wasn't what he had expected.

He felt slightly nauseous looking down at the tissue. There against the pure, fresh fabric were dark spots of red, slowly seeping in.

He looked at the smaller boy who in turn expressed a similar fearful look on his face.

It was happening. His body was losing.

* * *

**What do you think? Am I getting crueller by the second, poor boy :( Hit me a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**You guys are probably used to the apologies by now, sorry it's been so long. You know Christmas time, extremely busy, not to mention exam period in January :/ so how was everyone's Christmas? **

**Are you guys all excited for the return of glee, I sure am! Warblers are back first two episodes (but without the beautiful and sexy Seb ;_;) I suppose I should make this brief, this is a late Christmas present and late Grant Gustin birthday present.. 23 baby! **

**Fair warning of sadness, emotion and fluff in this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: still don't own them...now enjoy :)**

* * *

An unsettling silence hangs between the two boys, the only sound being the crumpling of the bed sheets as the smaller boy shuffles uncomfortably.

Sebastian?"

The taller boy makes no attempt to move, his head low, his gaze firmly fixed on the soiled tissue in his hands.

He feels a hint of warmth enclose around his hand, it brings a small sense of comfort to him. He craves it at a time like this.

"..Bas?"

He hears the boy's calls but remains still. His body refuses to move, shock keeps his body rigid and frozen; he has given up.

"Um I'll leave you to finish getting undressed, just...call if you need me"

He feels a tight squeeze from the ex-warbler, his minds snaps back to reality. He is going to be left alone.

"...please stay"

The smaller boy stops in his tracks, he resumes his position back on the bed. Concern gleams in his eyes as he examines the warbler captain.

"Are you okay?"

The taller boy lifts his head, the red around his eyes becoming prominent. He stares at the curly haired boy referencing whether he was referring to his physical or mental state. Either way, he was not okay.

He once again forces a small smile, he nods his head in confirmation; it would put the other boy at ease.

"Happy birthday"

He hands the smaller boy the tissue who swiftly disposes of it. If only he could dispose of the previous few minutes; his mind wouldn't be scarred with the sick reality.

He finishes getting undressed and into the comfortable clothes he had been handed, they held the strong aroma of the smaller boy; it was a scent he treasured deeply.

He watches as the ex-warbler shuffles around hesitantly, neatly organising his desk and running a hand through his thick locks, freeing the curls from the clutches of the sturdy gel.

He is bewildered at the sight, the smaller boy looks so care free and innocent. It makes his heart swell.

"Um..sorry about...this"

The smaller boy points to the jungle of curls set above his forehead.

"but I don't want to risk looking like a Danny Zuko taking a turn in the morning"

He chuckles at the Grease reference; curls or no curls, this boy was gorgeous.

"Don't be...it's hot"

He immediately cringes at his comment. It wasn't said in his usual snarky tone, he had let it slip in a swooning schoolgirl-like fashion. He feels a flush of heat rise to his cheeks.

The smaller boy smiles amorously. Strong, confident, snarky Sebastian Smythe; was blushing.

It wasn't hard to miss, the small tinge of red against the boy's sickly pale skin couldn't have gone unnoticed. The ex-warbler found it adorable.

"Man look at the time!"

The warbler tries to digress from the subject, hoping the embarrassment would fade from his cheeks in the next few seconds.

It was only 11:24, an early night in his eyes. But he remembers the traffic en route to Dalton isn't as fluent in the mornings as the following hours.

The smaller boy excuses himself as he undresses in the bathroom, leaving the warbler captain to his thoughts.

The previous few minutes had provided a brief distraction from his slowly nearing fate, it was in times of isolation he was once again reminded of the cruel truth; he feared the reality the most.

He scans the bedroom once again, catching sight of a framed photograph sat on the near bedside table. He carefully grasps it, inhaling a sharp breath to rid it of the dust that had gathered on its glassy surface.

It was a photograph holding a scene he instantly recognised, he hadn't seen anyone take the photo, nor would have thought the ex-warbler would have treasured it so much. It had been taken late October, when the curly haired boy had returned to invite his old friends to the opening night of his show; his new school's show.

It was a memory of when they had rehearsed uptown girl, it had only been their third shot, yet the addition of the smaller boy had pushed the Warblers to their full potential. It had prided him to be called their captain.

What caught his eyes the most, was himself.

He was smiling, genuinely smiling. There was no sarcastic ring to his actions, no snarkiness portrayed through his emotions. It could be said, that he looked happy.

He looked happy stood laughing with the smaller boy dressed in short grey pants and a dicky bow tie. He looked happy amongst the other boys who proudly referred to him as their captain. He looked happy because at that point; there was no fate. He wasn't dying.

A hint of sadness washes over him, a photograph was simply a fraction of time; like reality, it didn't last long.

The meeting of his crush's lover had followed, then the night at scandals where he had come so close to making the boy his.

It had slowly spiralled downwards from there; he had become sick, the boy had stated he had meant nothing to him, his tiredness had increased, his parents had forgotten him, he had become a regular at scandals, his patience had decreased, he had become a bully and a slut.

Then the added impact of the truth about his health had pushed him that one step too far.

He had almost blinded his one true love, he had almost caused a boy to take his own life; he had hit rock bottom.

He deserved it. At the time he felt no guilt; at the time it was all fun and games; at the time he was a stuck-up asshole.

Now it was time to make amends.

The curly haired boy had abandoned him; he had lost contact, they had barely spoken following the events of Michael week. He had tried apologising; it had been too late.

The Warblers had become the enemy, the sentimental memories the smaller boy held of the perfectly coiffed gentlemen, had been forgotten. The memories of his new public school friends had replaced the treasured memories of his true family; his true soulmate; his Sebastian.

The boy had continued to live life without him, he had excluded him from his little world; just like his parents had done.

He had been left in the dark, left to gather dust as the boy replaced him with his new friends; just like the photograph.

He carefully sat it back down as said boy returned to the room, pillows and blankets in his hands.

"Is there anything else you need before I..."

The smaller boy eyes the warbler with concern, seeing his sunken features; he looked broken

"Sebastian?"

The taller boy once again looks up, curiously gleaming in his eyes at his summoning

"Yeah killer?"

The curly haired boy dismisses his previous thoughts and begins to make up the camp bed, occasionally looking back at the taller boy. Something was obviously bothering him, apart from the obvious.

"Doesn't matter"

The warbler captain looks down disheartened at the camp bed, he was hoping his invitation to stay had been with the terms of sharing a bed with the generous smaller boy. Apparently not.

It only takes a few more minutes before everything is set up. He begins to shuffle closer to the edge as the ex-warbler makes his way over to the bed.

At this point it was late, his body was becoming increasingly tired; he couldn't muster up the strength to move from the comfort of the double bed.

The boy pulls back the covers, carefully fluffing up the pillows before gently pushing the taller boy back against them, he draws the thick duvet over him, providing him with a sense of warmth and a stronger smell of the curly-haired boy.

He was confused, why was he being tucked into the boy's bed? Wasn't the guest supposed to sleep on the camp bed? He ignores the thought and smiles, the boy was giving him his bed; he felt a bit of a burden.

"Wait...where are you going to sleep?"

He knew it was a stupid question and that the answer was pretty obvious, but he wanted to hear it. He just hoped the boy would soon become frustrated at the make-shift bed and would consider joining him in the comfort of his own bed.

"Um here"

He gestured towards the smaller bed before quickly pulling back his own covers and beginning to make his way over to the light switch.

"Not fancy joining me?"

The taller boy pouted, tapping the empty space next to him on the bed.

The smaller boy fumbled for words

"I...um, I don't really think that's a good idea"

The warbler captain looked slightly taken aback, it wasn't long before that they had passionately made out on the same bed. Did he think he wanted more now?

He rolled his eyes, smirking at the ex-warbler

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna try and get in your pants tonight killer"

The smaller boy smiled, the cocky attitude was back. It was a breath of fresh air from the weak and broken Sebastian he had encountered earlier on.

"I just think its best for the time being...I don't wanna push it, you know?"

He would prefer it if he pushed it, he just wanted to be held close to the boy. To feel a kind of protection shield him from the hurt that was enclosing on him; to feel a sense of love.

"Hmph fine"

The taller boy grunted, trying to make himself more comfortable against the velvety pillows.

Darkness washes over the room as the smaller boy flicks the switch and proceeds to make his way over to his bed. He stumbles slightly as he clambers in, causing a loud creak to diffuse thought the house.

The room is still and silent apart from the occasional shuffling from the warbler captain. He feels at home slightly, the bed is softer and warmer than his dorm's, not to mention bigger, and the sweet aroma vaporising from the bedsheets makes it feel like Paris again.

He is grateful for tonight, grateful for the ex-warbler's kindness. If it had been anyone else, a fellow warbler, a family member, he would have simply brushed their kindness off; it would have been more out of duty than good will anyway.

"Blaine?"

He whispers. He knew the smaller boy most likely helped him out of pity rather than affection, but either way he still helped him. It was one step towards forgiveness; he wanted that more than anything.

"Yeah Seb?"

He pauses and smiles at the pet name. Whatever Blaine called him would sound cute in his ears. As long as it wasn't Sebastard as he had been called once before.

"..thank you"

The smaller boy smiles as he expresses his gratitude. It was the least he could do to help, he really cared about this boy, whether he was sick or not; he would never forget Sebastian.

"Anytime"

The taller boy returns the smile, fatigue washes over his body as he does so. He takes one last look at the photograph, straining his eyes in the dark to capture its detail and sentiment before falling into the realms of sleep.

* * *

_He hears muffled voices as white lights flash back and forth his vision. He feels a pull on his arm and the sound of sobs amongst the rustling in the room, he recognises that cry; it was his mother._

_ "Heart rate is dangerously high, induce 1.25mg of bisoprolol stat"_

_ He feels the pounding in his ears drowning out the sounds in the room, he desperately tries to focus on the distorted faces as he tries to regain consciousness._

_ He couldn't remember what had happened. He couldn't work out what was happening. There were hands grasping at his limbs, sharp incisions being made into his arms, he felt trapped; was this his punishment?_

_ As his struggling continues, he slowly feels a sense of release from the tight hold his body was under. His chest feels less restrained, he can breathe once again. The pounding in his ears was beginning to subside._

_ "He's stable now, you can see him"_

_ The muffled voices were gradually becoming more audible, he was semi-conscious now; he could see the blurred faces of his mother and father hovering over him._

_ "Honey? Can you hear me?...it's okay mommys here, you're going to be fine"_

_ He hears his mother's frantic voice as she attempts to soothe him, he feels scared. This shouldn't be happening, he was fit, he was healthy, how could he be dying?_

_ He tries to focus on them, straining his eyes as he does so; his father looks heartbroken. _

_ "Dad..?"_

_ His father breathes a sigh of relief, it was obvious he had been in a state of panic. As cold hearted and stubborn as his father was, it was hard to believe he had a soft side; that was until he had saw his only child collapse to the floor and be swarmed by doctors. _

_ "I'm here 'Bastian, you're okay"_

_ "What happened?"_

_ He croaks out, looking for an answer in his father's glazed eyes._

_ "You collapsed from shock, do you remember why?"_

_ He remembers back to before the episode, he felt sick, he felt dizzy, the world was closing in around him. He was sick._

_ There's a long pause before he speaks again, he allows a single tear to stream down his cheek as he inhales._

_ "I have leukaemia...I'm going to die aren't I-I..?"_

_At the last syllable he breaks down, allowing the tears to flow freely from his eyes as his father does the same. It's not long before his mother joins them, allowing her make up to smudge her eyes as she cries into his hair; her arms wrapped protectively around his neck. _

_ The three stay like that for what feels like eternity, the bond between father and son equalling that of his mother's. To the outside world, the Smythe family were wealthy, superior and very prestigious, even behind closed doors they were proper and formal. It was a prodigious sight seeing the trio so emotional and close; one Mr. Smythe would not be a man to cry in public. _

_ The attorney would be able to keep it private, sweep it under the mat as he usually did. Whether that be with his own problems or his client's, tell-tale evidence would always be kept hidden. He had managed so far, he had managed to keep his family in the 'perfect' rankings; despite his son being gay, he had managed to persuade the wider world that his Sebastian was an unflawed darling prep. school boy. _

_ Perfection was one of his aims, he could not change that. He would never as much as whisper a moment of his weakness or let slip any emotion, and he had taught his son to do the same. _

_ The warbler captain continued to sob, what hurt the most was seeing his family so broken. His parents so broken. Himself so broken._

_It was all his fault._

_ He continued to cry, not caring anymore. This changed everything, he couldn't let it. He needed to be strong, he needed to be the Warbler's leader - their strong, yet dying leader._

* * *

He sniffs, wiping his eyes as he realises he had been crying. It was the same dream, the same haunting memory that returned every night. The same scene replaying over and over again in his subconscious mind. The same dream that pained his heart and caused him to cry.

He remembers he is not at home, nor in his dorm. There is another occupant in the room, he hears him shuffling; he had heard his sobbing.

"Seb-Sebastian..?"

The smaller boy sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He is confused, yet concern is evident in his voice.

His nose is blocked, he sniffs to clear it causing the other boy to rise from the smaller bed.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, he feels a gently shake from the ex-warbler. He tries to remain still, pretend that he is sleeping; he would not be caught crying.

"Sebastian are you awake?"

He tries to keep it in but his eyes fight against his resistance. He lets out a quiet sob which surprises the smaller boy. He pulls the comforter over himself further to hide his vulnerability but is stopped when the curly-haired boy pulls it back and climbs in next to him.

He feels a pair of strong arms wrap protectively around his torso, he feels the heat from the other boy soothe his sore body. He nudges closer to the ex-warbler, yielding further to his comfort.

The smaller boy grasps him tighter, he had never seen the boy so weak. It was something he figured was kept hidden. He tries to provide some comfort to the boy, he whispers soothing words into his ear to calm him, like he used to do with Kurt.

Kurt; Sebastian was like Kurt. Underneath the snarky act was a vulnerable boy just wanting someone to pick up the pieces. The two were polar opposites of course, but perhaps, maybe in this case, they weren't so different.

The taller boy was not Kurt, he realised that. He loved Kurt, Sebastian meant nothing to him, that's what he repeatedly told himself. But he couldn't help but feel like this was supposed to have happened, that it was supposed to be Sebastian in his arms and not the fashionable countertenor.

He wasn't Kurt, he didn't smell like Kurt, his cologne resembled a rich young gentleman and not something sweet by Armani. He didn't feel like Kurt, he was thinner but slightly more broad, his bones sticking out in places due to his thinning body, but his shoulders remaining square and manly.

Most importantly, he didn't resemble what was Kurt. Kurt was introvert, unique, his own person. Sebastian conformed to his father's expectations, he was bred to follow in the path of perfect class.

Through the dimly lit room, he catches eye with the taller boy. He sees the tears slowly streaming down his cheeks, he brushes them away gently with his thumb.

The warbler captain smiles, he lets out a faint laugh.

"I'm sorry...you didn't see me cry, understand?"

The smaller boy bites his lip as he continues to wipe the tears from the other boy's cheek; he gently strokes his hand against his jawline, feeling the slight stubble on the surface that made the warbler captain that more masculine and distinct from his ex-boyfriend.

"Don't apologise, we all cry 'Bas...it's what makes us human"

The taller boy gives him a half smile and sighs.

"Well at let you know I'm not an alien, don't know how well that would go down at Scandals"

He snorts at his attempt at humour, before returning to a serious tone.

"But seriously Sebastian..'Bas, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, with school, with the warblers, with...this"

He gestures to Sebastian's ill-looking appearance, once again gently running a hand down his sunken cheeks.

"..but I promise whatever you need me for, whenever...just, call me. I promise ill be there"

Realisation hit the taller boy, he was alone at school. He didn't have Blaine at school, "call me" was more of a pick up line than a genuine offering of help. He didn't want to walk back to isolation, he didn't want to walk back to the standards of perfection, where one could not be seen as weak or vulnerable. He couldn't continue alone.

"...come back to Dalton"

He whispers into the smaller boys ear, almost in a seductive manner.

"Sebastian I.."

"...you're a Dalton boy"

The curly haired boy expresses a small smile. Maybe he was a Dalton boy, he recalls the feeling of happiness he felt when he was surrounded by the blazered clad of young men.

But now was not the time to be making heat-of-the-moment decisions, he had done that with Kurt and it had left him in this situation now.

He once again secured his hold on the warbler, snuggling closer to him as he tried to regain some sleep.

He drifts off fairly quickly, the dilemma of his near future decision circling his mind, he has two options; one in particular seems like magnet drawing him closer in temptation.

A familiar phrase props up from his conscience; _Once a Warbler, Always a Warbler._

* * *

**You guys can give me a late Christmas present and hit me a review :) **

**Also if you guys have any juicy ideas for the next chapter, review or PM me :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Well here's another one guys, I had to get it out there.**

**I promise I have some really juicy stuff happening in the next few chapters, some stuff that will hopefully pull at your heart stings and bring you to tears...I'm so grateful for all of you who have been following me with the journey of this story, the support is amazing.**

**Anyway here it is, please hit me a review after to give me an idea of how I'm doing, whether you want to kill me or not? :)**

* * *

He awakes to a desolate feeling, the space next to him unoccupied; the rattling sound from the rooms downstairs easing his feeling of isolation.

He sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He snaps his head towards the door, flashing a half smile at the individual appearing in the doorway.

"Did you sleep well? You're looking better"

The curly-haired boy smiled, placing a tray of food on the bed in front of the warbler captain.

He looks down at the feast before him, the smaller boy had really gone out of his way to do this. He doesn't feel hungry despite his improved stamina; he takes it as a symbol of gratitude.

"Um yeah, thanks"

He responds to the smaller boy through a bite of toast. He returns the smile almost instantly, his eyes gleaming at his handiwork.

"So if we head to Dalton in about 30 minutes that should give me enough time to make it back for first period"

The smaller boy looks at his watch before making his way over to the closet and pulling out the boy's uniform.

"Why not just blow off school and come hang with me and the warblers...or you know, just me"

He emphasises the last part with a seductive smirk, causing a tint of colour to appear on the smaller boy's cheeks. The ex-warbler laughs nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

"Um thanks for the offer but I can't"

"Aw come on killer, why not have a bit of fun for once?"

He pulls his best puppy-dog eyes, pouting at the smaller boy in an attempt to change his mind. The smaller boy sighs and brushes him off, chucking at the innocence of the warbler captain.

"That doesn't work on me, so no thanks"

The taller boy shrugs, sighing as he begins to finish off the remains of his breakfast. The curly-haired boy watches him carefully, smiling every time he took a bite. He was concerned for the warbler captain, but it eased his mind knowing he was still eating.

He brings the pile of folded clothes over to the bed, setting them down next to the taller boy and removing the tray. It reminds the warbler of home, he wasn't used to doing anything for himself while he stayed with his parents; it was a comforting thought.

"I'll leave you to get dressed, be back in a few"

He watches as the smaller boy makes his way out of the room, leaving the warbler captain in peace to perfect himself.

It takes just under 15 minutes for him to get his uniform on, faster than it had over the previous days. He doesn't know if his body is just generally being weak or if the reason was entirely psychological, but being around the smaller boy had given him that small amount of strength, that small amount of comfort; had given him a rock.

He collects his blazer from the coat stand, fumbling inside of his pockets for the pills the nurse had given him before. He knocks them back quickly, wincing as he feels the large capsules slither down his throat.

He breathes heavily, they always give him a feeling of light headedness; he curses the side effects.

The curly-haired boy returns, his shoes and coat in hand, he smiles at the warbler captain as he proceeds to help him slide into his blazer. He carefully fastens the gold decorative button, frowning at how loosely the boy's uniform hung from his frail body.

The taller boy smirks, looking down at the ex-warbler's expression.

"Bet you miss wearing this every morning"

He gestures towards the blazer, the familiar navy and red complexion bringing back nostalgic memories to the curly-haired boy.

The ex-warbler shrugs before turning to grab his bag from the disordered taller boy quickly slips into his loafers, indicating his readiness to set off on the road trip with the ex-warbler; hopefully with an idea to coax him into joining him once again at the illustrous school.

"Come on Andrew McCarthy, lets get you back to school"

The taller boy smirks at the nickname, it reminds him of the time the Latina girl had duelled him in a MJ duet.

"Keys?"

He snaps his mind back to the present, reaching inside of his pocket before pulling out the set of keys and hesitantly handing them over to the curly-haired boy. Usually he wouldn't trust a soul to drive his baby, but the ex-warbler had too much of a careful approach; he would make sure not even a scratch would penetrate its surface.

He follows the boy out of the house, slowing making his way over to the passenger side as the smaller boy locks up. He climbs inside, shivering slightly at the lack of heat inside the car's cold shell. The smaller boy follows promptly, slipping into the driver's seat he scrunches his forehead as he attempts to put the car in gear.

The warbler captain chuckles, he reaches over and assists the boy; smirking at his cluelessness.

"It's an auto, never seen one before?"

The ex-warbler knits his eyebrows together as he eyes the contraption in front of him. He snorts at his failure to understand cars; it wasn't his forte as his father had soon realised.

"I guessed you wouldn't be the type to drive a normal car"

"Hmph when I actually drive, I usually hitch a ride with Chauncey"

The taller boy shrugs, causing the curly-haired boy to raise an eyebrow at the mention of the other male.

"Chauncey?.."

"My father's chauffeur"

"Your father's...chauffeur...of course"

He said between nods, rolling his eyes at the mention of the warbler's parent's wealth.

"What?"

The taller boy smiles, questioning the boy's actions curiously

"You're just so out there"

"And your whole bashful schoolboy thing, super hot"

He replies with a wink, causing the smaller boy to smirk at the comment, remembering their first coffee together; the coffee that first inveigled the captain's attraction towards the ex-warbler. He wished he could go back.

"Shut up"

The curly-haired boy nudged him, returning his focus to the car. After a few moments he reassures himself that he knows what he is doing, it couldn't be that hard surely.

The duo eventually set off, hesitation occasionally hitting the smaller boy as he tries to take note of the vast amount of controls the modish car held.

Conversation about the warblers spiked up every so often, mainly due to the taller boy's desire to boast about his adept show choir, hoping to deter the curly-haired boy's decision to stay at that vulgar place known as 'public school'.

The smaller boy grunts and nods at the other boy's display of affection towards the McKinley show choir, although a truce had been made between the two groups, he couldn't help but agree with some of the comments made about the club.

He had to admit, he missed the organisation Dalton had. He missed being in the limelight and being the 'rock star' of the school. He missed his old friends and the tomfoolery that used to happen on a daily basis. It could be said, he missed a lot about the institution, the sound of leather shoes tapping the neatly polished floors during the transition of classes, the military-like fashion the school established, the strict zero-tolerance no bullying policy - which he questioned still stood after the dismissal of the warbler captain's actions.

He spends a good 15 minutes recalling the memories he held of Dalton. The taller boy smiles at the content in his voice; maybe it would have an impact on his decision, he certainly hoped.

He thinks back to the photograph, how it had been left behind; forgotten. Maybe it wasn't the same; an object will always just be an object, an inanimate, still, piece of material. A memory is an encoded piece of information, the retrieval of a significant event in one's life; maybe the boy hadn't forgotten. Maybe he wasn't left behind all this time.

The warmth of the car provides a relaxing environment for the taller boy, despite the energy his body currently holds, he stills feels himself becoming drowsy and enervated.

The soothing sound of the smaller boy's voice causes his eyelids to become heavy, he doesn't pay attention to the muffled one-sided conversation; he allows himself to be swept away by sleep.

The smaller boy pulls the car to a halt at the traffic lights, sighing as he looks out over the growing queue of traffic. He notices the silence in the car, looking over at the warbler he smiles sympathetically. Sebastian looked so pretty when he slept - something he failed to notice in the dark.

He took a few moments to take in the angelic sight before him. There was no emotion set on the boy's face, no dignified position, no attempt at proving oneself, everything was at peace; he was at peace.

The smaller boy frowns slightly as he takes in the complexion of the taller boy, he looks a little paler than before. He reaches across, gently stroking away a few stray strands of hair, he feels his forehead. It is a little warm, but nothing compared to the previous night.

He hopes it is just the heat of the car, not a fever taking its toll once again.

* * *

Due to the onset of traffic, they manage to pull up at their destination much later than planned, the smaller boy sighs at the lecture he knew would be coming; his Literature teacher wasn't a fan of lateness.

He turns off the engine, scanning the grounds around him. They were deserted, the rustling of leaves amongst the cove of trees being the only sound interrupting the tranquil atmosphere.

"Sebastian? ...Come on wake up"

He gently shakes the taller boy, smiling as he watches him rub his eyes hazily; confusion present against his tired features.

"Mmm huh?"

"We're at Dalton, come on"

The taller boy stretches, cracking his back in the process. He watches as his lanky arms brush against the roof of the car; thin fingers stroking against the velvety interior.

The smaller boy slips out of the car. Walking around to the passenger side he opens the door, confidently expressing his manners like a true gentleman; it impresses the Warbler.

The taller boy carefully climbs out of the car, retrieving the keys back from the curly-haired boy with a simple "thanks"; he ponders over the boy stood in front of him.

"How are you going to get back?"

"Get a cab, it shouldn't take that long"

"Why not...stay?"

"Sebastian we've talked about this...I can't"

"Come on Blainers, does one look not make you miss the place like mad"

He gestures towards the opulent building stood before them. The smaller boy gulps, his heart dropping as he gazes at the sight; it was once he home. Once.

He shakes his head slowly, trying to persuade the taller boy. He sees right through him, the Warbler captain sees his regret. He doesn't push the subject any further, not yet.

"Well I guess this is it...for now"

"I guess it is...you'll call me if you need me right? I meant what I said, if you need anything just let me know"

The taller boy expresses a genuine smile, his eyes gleaming as he looks lovingly at the curly-haired boy.

"I will"

He edges closer to the ex-warbler, looking around for any sight of his classmates before engulfing the smaller boy into a hug. The boy is taken aback slightly, but slowly responds to the embrace. He rests his head on the taller boy's shoulder, relaxing against the warmth of his body.

After a few moments they pull apart. The taller boy leans in, making a move to capture the boy's lips. He ducks away, gently pushing the warbler captain away from him.

"No, Sebastian...I-I can't"

The boy looks slightly crestfallen, he sighs as he takes another step forward, edging in closer to the ex-warbler.

"Blaine...what about last night? I thought..."

"Last night..."

He didn't want to say it, he didn't want to say it had been a mistake. There had been chemistry, both of them had felt it. There was no denying it; last night was meant to happen.

"...it just happened. I don't know what it meant, everything's just a mess at the moment...I'm sorry"

"Don't be"

"Sebastian..."

"No I get it"

He grabs the smaller boy's hand, cupping it between his own; he strokes it gently.

"Look Blaine, I like you...and I mean really like you. Your not just another fuck buddy, a one night stand, another casual guy...you're sweet and funny, and cute. Man this sounds real cheesey, but I would give anything for you...please, just give me a chance"

The smaller boy stands starstruck at the boy's words. He had never seen a person so closed become so, open. He had felt the emotion in that confession, he had felt the need. It touched him deeply, he wants to give in, to say yes; he wants to be loved once again.

"I-I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything. I would wait forever for you..."

The taller boy is cut off by the resoning sound of the school bell echoing across the grounds. He sighs, time goes so quickly; he was counting down the minutes day by day.

"...if I could"

The smaller boy opens his mouth to respond, but is distracted by the crowd making their way through the front door out into the gardens. He best be off, he didn't want to be caught by any of his old friends, he would never be able to escape then.

"I better go...goodbye Seb"

He smiles before turning to make his way towards the gates. He is stopped in his tracks by a call from the taller boy.

"Blaine"

He turns to face him once more, questioning his summoning of him.

The taller boy sheepishly places his hands in his pockets, shrugging as he looks at the ex-warbler gratefully.

"Thank you"

He flashes one last smile at the Warbler before making his way out of the gates, leaving the taller boy standing still in the grounds, carefully watching his departure.

The warbler captain turns to make his way inside the building. He slowly strolls through the corridors before sighing deeply at the sudden appearance of the blond countertenor storming his way towards him.

"'Bas where have you been? We've all been worried sick! You didn't come back last night and the..."

"Jeff it's fine, I just crashed at a friends place, no big deal"

"What friend?"

He sighs, trying to converse with this boy was like twenty questions; something he didn't feel up to at the moment.

"Does it matter...now really I gotta get to my room, so..."

"Just tell me!"

"It's none of your business!"

The blond pauses for a moment, he squints his eyes at the taller boy before questioning his abrupt actions,

"What are you hiding?"

The warbler captain scoffs, lifting his head to avoid eye contact with the nosey blond.

"What makes you think I'm hiding anything?"

"You've been sick 'Bas, this is the fourth time this fortnight you've missed French class, something's up, you never miss French"

"It's one class Jeff, one class that I'm already fluent in...what's the big deal?"

"It's just...you've been acting different"

"Different how?"

"You know...just like distant. It's not just me who's noticed. Nick thinks you're just tired and stressed for regionals, but then David said he saw you spending most days in the bathroom...why won't you tell us what's going on?"

He sighs, he was beginning to become impatient with this conversation. He wasn't going to let anything slip; not now.

"Because nothing is going on, I've told you everything's fine"

"But it's not fine...why do you keep hiding away in your dorm? You never hang with us in the commons anymore"

To be truthful, he didn't have the strength to last through a full day never mind the addition of spending his evening with the fools that made up part of the warblers. An evening alone in the comfort of his bed was more appealing, it was more rewarding to his aching body; something he needed to hide the truth from his prying classmates.

"I'm busy with school stuff...now, do you mind I really need to go"

The blond exhales, realisation hitting him as his mouth drops open. It wasn't what he had expected, although it could be questionable about the taller boy, his reputation did coincide with that kind of lifestyle.

"What?"

"I get it...the feeling ill, the hiding, the constant trips to the bathroom. Your doing drugs aren't you?"

The taller boy gawps, his eyes widening in horror at the blond's accusation; he hadn't expected that.

"WHAT! Of course not!"

"Really 'Bastian? 'Coz that's exactly what a junkie would say"

He felt infuriated, he couldn't take this anymore. His body didn't need anymore stress; he was going to be late.

"I don't need this"

He pushes past the other boy, beginning to make his way rapidly up the staircase, away from the misunderstanding of the world below him. If only they knew, if only they understood; would that be enough to judge?

"Wait 'Bastian..."

He ignores the calls from the warbler, slamming the door forcefully behind him as he makes his way into his dorm. He makes a dive for the bed, burying his head deep into the pillows, inhaling the scent he was so used to. It differed greatly from the comforting scent the ex-warbler's room held; he begins to feel nostalgic.

It doesn't take him long to recall the previous events of the morning. It doesn't take him long to realise what a mistake he had made pushing the boy. It doesn't take him long to let out his anger, his sadness; his loss.

He sobs quietly into the fresh fabric, sniffing every so often as he wraps his arms around himself. The one thing he needed most was proving a hard task to get. He had gotten close before, he would make it further next time.

He would not give up.


End file.
